We are Ill-Prepared to deal with Loss.

We are ill-prepared with loss. The last few months have been very heavy with the experience of over 40 losses associated with the pandemic and beyond. But today I want to talk about the tangible loss of a loved one or an acquaintance, a co-worker,

or even just a fellow citizen or celebrity.

This loss is a lot to process and with the doom and gloom that has been accompanying all of these deaths, we can get weary. Weariness has been one of the areas that we are quite unaccepting for us to experience or even willing to share with others. Simply because we are told to be strong as we go through these types of challenges in life.

A Loss of a loved one can be a very tiring process, it takes energy that you did not even know existed.

It leaves you unable to focus on work,

It leaves you unable to love wholeheartedly,

It leaves you unable to take care of self

It leaves you unable to process new information

It leaves you unable to be creative in your productive efforts.

Now for most people to identify with this tiring process, would mean a few things.

1. Stop being so busy trying not to feel, think, or process the emotions that are passing through you right now.

2. Start asking for help with activities that overwhelm you right now.

3. Talk to others about how the loss is impacting you (I know you've been told to grieve alone- but let's face it, it isn't working.)

4. REST when you get weary. The notion that we have to be present for others when we are tired and weary is what keeps us stuck in being ill-prepared for loss.

If you can hold space in your heart and action to show up for yourself when you are grieving, you will teach others that you require space from them as well.

It's time we become more prepared in dealing with loss, as it is one of the most universal experiences that we as a human race is experiencing. Being prepared will never lessen the pain, however, it will give us tools to use as we navigate our completion of relationships with the ones we have lost.

Yours Truly

A Certified Grief Recovery Specialist

Jay