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I got well when I got Sick and Tired of being Sick and Tired - when I saw these lines from the book real is better than perfect by Dorothy Satten, I knew had to devote time to get well and heal.

Since this month is Self Care July, and I’ve decided to share more with you guys about 6 areas of self care, let’s turn this into my first blog/vlog entry.

You see the first part of this series is to select a timeline to devote for your self-care and get started with the end in mind that you are working towards.

Now I know I have not fully defined what self-care means , but I think it’s equally important to determine a start and end and a theme for your self-care process and here’s why?

Many of us have been living lives that are full of loss, hurt, anger, despair, frustration , disappointment, perfectionism and many more emotion filled experiences that we have allowed to consume our well being rather than learn from. In this consumption we get lost in story telling of how life has failed us or it’s not going according to plan and we sometimes decide to give up (in many ways... emotionally eating, refusing to exercise, isolating from others, keeping risky company, risky sexual interactions, engaging the Wrong partners and even contemplation of giving up on the ability to breathe any more.)

But there comes a time when giving up no longer controls the narrative and those emotion filled experiences translate to being feelings that give us information to do better and choose wisely.

At this time this is where most awaken with a new awareness that they have to do a better job of taking care of themselves. But this requires some guidance of how to do this.

So today I will be sharing how to create a meaningful timeline for a Self-Care strategy.

1. First of all, without establishing what the self care is, determine a physical time to devote to being consistent, open and intentional with serving you first. I know ,I know you are still thinking but Jay I need to know what area I’m working on in self-care... nope the area you are working on is truly, learning how to consistently show up for you aka putting you first, being open and honest with self about grey areas that have consumed your sick and tired story and being intentional in this healing and growth experience. You see life doesn’t stop because you are working on you, in fact you just become more aware because you have turned off the distractions generators and really have started to delve into creating a new reality.

2. Choose a time period to work on you. In consideration of this timeline, a few questions need to be answered honestly. How much time am I willing to devote in my current lifestyle to taking care of me? What days of the week, will I be unavailable to other without compromise? (Mine is usually Wednesday for the entire day) What is the best time of the day for me to focus on Self-care? What time am I most concerned with other people and their needs?

3. Once you have answer those questions, choose a timeline of 3 days, 1week, 21 days, 6weeks, 3months, 6 months or a year.

You are probably wondering why I choose these days. Well my friends we operate in a cycle and season mindset... we are hardwired literally to see changes and movement in those timelines. Now go decided how much time you want to devote to you, before we even decide what type of self-care you are going to work on.....(please note you can not work on all of your areas at once).

4. After choosing which timeline you are using... schedule it in your planner ASAP. The quicker you tell your brain that you are working on you, the more receptive it will be to accepting and creating the much needed shift in taking card of you.

5. Decide on which days how much time you are given to self and pencil that in your schedule.

Please note that when developing these timelines you can be flexible within the structure, but I highly recommend you being committed to the start and end date. If you can’t keep

A commitment to your own self, then what makes you think that you can truly do it for others without developing guilt and resentment.

Owning your commitment is key to your Self care project.

Now go get your journal and write down your Tiny Little Action steps to you creating your working timeline for your self-care.

Always Jay

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